This anti-reality is unbounded from the rules of our world. Superheroes transcend biology, physics, logic itself in their escape from the gravity of the real. The best of the old comics have a boundless freedom. Infinite possibilities spill forth from the mighty id to be barely contained in pen and ink. The standard punctuation of this world is the exclamation mark! Suddenly! The bolt of shazam! The gamma bomb!

When comics grew older and more respectable they pitted the real against the utopian. Peter Parker had amazing powers that defied the laws of physics but the laws of physics still killed his girl. Superman can fight giant robots all day long but he can’t fight the evils of society.

But even the most degraded and dystopian superhero reality is based off of a utopian core.  The superhero dystopia isn’t just the opposite of utopia, it’s a utopia turned in against itself and all that boundless energy and light harnessed for the basest purposes. They could have cities in the sky and instead they kill each other with dead psychic squids. Seeing these avatars of infinite good chained down to mortal flesh creates a perverse tension. The real and the impossible pushing against each other.

Doesn’t good always win? That depends on which world comes out on top.

Without J.H. Williams on art I find the book to be a lot less interesting. No offense to Amy Reeder et al who can draw a very competent superhero book (and I really like this cover, quiet and ambiguous yet iconic), but Williams’ art layered a whole other supertext over the book. Supertext, get it? GET IT? His art made it about identities and masquerades and not just fighting things and improbable family difficulties. There’s still a subtext about creating and participating in stories working its way through there and that is enough to boost this above the average super-book and keep me engaged. Basically I demand that my super-books are either insanely energetic and over-the-top, or entirely about people talking with as little fighting as possible, or layered with hidden meaning.

FRANKENSTEIN, AGENT OF S.H.A.D.E. #6

Coincidentally with the announcement/furor of Watchmen: You Want Watchmen? We’ll Give You All The Damn Watchmen You Could Ever Want Lemire shows up with a degraded Dr. Manhattan. I’m sure that wasn’t planned, though maybe this is like that part in Call of Cthulhu where the rising of R’lyeh sends out psychic terror waves that register in the minds of psychically sensitive artists.

VENOM #13.1

I didn’t realize this four-parter was going to have basically a different writer every issue. That seems like a weird way to tell a story. No complaints so far though!

UNCANNY X-FORCE #21 and SECRET AVENGERS #22

Remender is really getting to carve himself off a nice little chunk of the Marvel universe and do weird stuff to it, and that kind of thing usually results in developing some really interesting ideas which subsequent writers will either totally ignore or completely screw up. I still wish X-Force had better art, because this whole comic seems to take place in a series of backgroundless voids. It’s fantasy, damn it, and I want to see some fantastic landscapes!

DEMON KNIGHTS #6, LOBSTER JOHNSON: THE BURNING HAND #2, THE PUNISHER #8

These are all good comics, I just don’t have anything interesting to say about them. Other than maybe imploring you to read Demon Knights so we can be damn sure it doesn’t get cancelled. It’s fun and unique and focuses on new and underused characters instead of just Batman or something, and that means it is inevitably marked for death. The world would be a poorer place if we couldn’t watch Medieval Wonder Woman smack down a Triceratops.

Here’s how you do horror: keep it nice and quiet, let the weirdness trickle in slowly, don’t let them see the teeth until it’s too late. One of the hallmarks of Lovecraft was, basically, powerlessness in the face of incomprehensible cosmic forces. Curiously enough that’s also a hallmark of noir – the bad guys are untouchable because they have the power, the entire system is corrupt, all of it arrayed against the protagonist. But Lovecraft says it’s not just here on Earth, it’s the whole universe, there are mysteries you’re better off not trying to solve because you’ll see the true uncaring structure of it all and get pulled into a world of darkness and madness. Too many Lovecraft homages only see the tentacles, they miss the real point. Not Fatale though.

ACTION COMICS #6

Classic Morrison superhero stuff, setting up a whole world in a single issue. Let’s talk about the art in that backup though: it’s very much unlike the usual uninspired superhero stuff. It’s bright, clean, confident, and above all different. Why can’t they put out a full book with art like this?

STORMWATCH #6

I can’t say this book’s been the best (a little disappointingly mediocre, really), but I’ll be sad to see Cornell leave it all the same. I was really looking forward to seeing the Apollo/Midnighter romance play out in all its muscly hyperviolent glory and I’m sure he would’ve done an excellent job. I figure Milligan can do okay here, though his recent output’s been readable but not exceptional.

ANIMAL MAN #6

What a weird little filler-y issue. As much as I enjoy the concept that Buddy Baker starred in a Darren Aronofsky movie that basically seems like a superhero version of The Wrestler I’m not really sure if I wanted to see that movie played out in comic book form. And left only half-complete. So let’s call this chapter cute but non-essential and move back to the glorious grotesquerie next month.

SWAMP THING #6

It’s a good thing that comics are a dualistic medium because visually stunning art can really help compensate for a by-the-numbers story featuring chosen ones and destinies and all that stuff I really don’t like in fantasy stories. I can just tune out the story and let the tide of rot and flies and carrion wash over me.

THE DEFENDERS #3

And here is the world-shattering weirdness that I wanted. The shifting narration boxes are also an excellent way to handle a multi-character book. I’ll have to swipe that sometime.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #679

Okay, now that the time travel is over (and that was actually a pretty fun solution to the whole setup), I may have to drop this book. Slott’s run has had some great moments but most of the time it’s too unambitious too often. Of course I will drop in if Sr. Martin ever comes back to visit.

VENOM #13

This very very much reminds me of Jason Aaron’s Ghost Rider run, which was basically a comic book version of what you’d find spray-painted on the side of the radicalest van in existence. That is to say this story arc looks to be tons of fun.

On the one hand: sure, maybe it is a little disingenuous for Alan Moore to complain about other people repurposing his work, when he’s made a career out of reworking other peoples’ characters.

But on the other hand. The only reason that this is happening is because this isn’t his work, he doesn’t own it, because he and Gibbons signed a contract in good faith with DC, with every expectation that the rights would be returned to him a year after they stopped printing Watchmen and DC decided maybe it’d be better to just never stop printing Watchmen so they could take all the profits forever. And then never even really make an attempt at making things right, because why repay some crazy beard man when you could just make endless hollow knockoffs of his work?

My question is, what do they think they’re going to add? Watchmen‘s already a perfectly structured complete world presented in 12 issues. All these characters histories and fates are laid out already. All the interesting parts. And now DC’s saying, hey, if you liked that, here’s 34 more issues of irrelevant backstory! That’s THREE TIMES AS LONG as the original. And if it sells well you bet your ass they’re going to make more.

Now some of these creative teams look OK (well, 50% ok and 50% awful), but I’d much rather see them actually try out something new instead of strip-mining the past forever. I realize that repurposing the past is what superhero comics are based on, but the good ones always iterate one step ahead. The bad ones just rehash the same stories over and over, because if you love something once you’ll love it again in a slightly different form right?

Maybe it’ll be alright, maybe it won’t, it’s kind of too early to pass judgment on whether something’s good until, you know, it’s actually out. But here’s a thought: you’d probably be morally justified in downloading all the issues illegally, and then not paying DC back until a year after they leave print.

So far in the tradeoff between Ellis and Remender it looks like this series is going to lose some of the total weirdness (count me disappointed that they just fight run-of-the-mill supervillains this issue) and gained some actual characterization. The cast members actually have distinct personalities now! It’ll be interesting to see what the rest of the team dynamic is like. Please add more hyperdimensional threats though.

JUSTICE LEAGUE #5

I am officially bored of this book though I will probably stick around for the next issue to see Jim Lee draw Apokalips. Though with Geoff Johns writing it it’ll probably just be boringly generic. Also EVERYBODY KNOWS OMEGA BEAMS CANNOT BE TRICKED INTO HITTING OBSTACLES, THEY WILL JUST GO AROUND THEM. Darkseid is supposed to be all-pervasive, inevitable, yet fatally human. Here he is just another bad guy to be smashed.

VENOM #12

Sometimes I forget to buy books when they come out, this is one of those times, giving me a double dose of Remendermania this week. Will this series be able to balance maintaining an ongoing continuity and keeping up plot momentum? Ha! That isn’t possible in superheroes. Look for this book to either get abruptly cancelled or to run way too long, then switch to a different writer and peter out into mediocrity without actually ending.

BPRD: HELL ON EARTH: RUSSIA #5

Now this series might actually be able to maintain the aforementioned balance. Though without Hellboy to do Mignola might wander the earth an empty man or something like that. Maybe start a series about a half-angel called Heavenboy. Anyway the plot twist at the end might’ve had more impact if we knew more about these characters’ motivations or really much about their backgrounds. But that’s a minor complaint overall.

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #5

Well now that this boring plot is over maybe we can get to better ones. I’m still unsure on the whole relationship between Enchantress and June Moon, and why it is that Enchantress is cosmic-level threatening but PLEASE DO NOT SPEND MORE TIME ON THIS PLOT. There is some interesting character stuff in this book that needs to be given more room to expand without people fighting each other over misunderstandings.

THE FLASH #5

I like that this book is putting some work into its setting. If they carry that background material all the way it might just end up a little like Starman, the kind of series that lays out a detailed world and just lets you hang out in it. Also it’s probably gonna be cool to see Manapul get abstract with the Speed Force.

During the latter decades of comics, following the “social relevance” of the ’70s and the “gritty realism” of Watchmen (those quotes are more or less deserved), the threat of real violence entered the utopian world of the superhero. Rape and murder were now on the table for any villain seeking to prove themselves as a real threat. The superheroes’ non-superpowered significant others became targets to be victimized. And since most superheroes were men, that meant that it was the helpless women that got killed.

It’s not that it couldn’t hypothetically happen to men. If, say, Wonder Woman had some cute-but-mortal boyfriend (like Steve Rogers? Does she still date Steve Rogers? I can’t keep track of these things), and some XTREME new villain called BLOODICIDE or PAINSPIKE or similar came along looking to prove how HARDCORE EVIL he was, then poor hapless non-superpowered guy (who might be Steve Rogers) probably fits in a refrigerator just the same as any girl. But when was the last time a superwoman had a stable relationship with a regular guy? If she’s in a team book she’s probably seeing somebody on the team for purposes of narrative convenience. Only in the solo series where the characters date normal people so they have someone to keep their secret identity hidden from, and 99.999999999999999% of all solo series are about men.

Superheroes are a men-centric world. Written and drawn by men, assuming a male audience, with male central characters. Thus the women are incidental, usually side characters, objects to be desired or protected, defined entirely by their relationships with the men of the series. And they’re drawn to reflect that. Sure, there’s body dysmorphism for both sexes in comics, but it’s only the women that get distorted into sex objects that always pose for maximum T&A. The men are always hypersculpted icons of power, with nary a hint of sexual characteristics even when wearing a skintight body suit that ought to leave nothing to the imagination.

This male-centrism is the confluence of a lot of factors. The classic, iconic superheroes were created by white men, and tend to reflect that. It’s tough to sell any superheroes that don’t have the iconic status of Superman or Spider-Man, so any character that isn’t from the old-school pantheon tends to be a tough sell, and that means a lot of good female and/or minority characters get marginalized due to low sales figures. So since all the central characters are men, the female side characters are put in a position where they can be killed off for sympathy, or ditched to provide romantic tension, but never are their own stories told.

Not to mention the fact that superheroes are still seen as a “boy thing.” All that shit nerds like, you know, action, martial arts, horror, sci-fi, they’re all “boy things.” Nerd culture basically enshrines adolescent masculinity. It’s a culture that’s the byproduct of white men demanding that their white male power fantasies be idolized and and revisited over and over again. A lot of nerd culture aggressively shuts out any art that isn’t made with that teenage boy viewpoint in mind. And that’s led to a culture that’s often toxic and misogynistic, that refuses to let girls into their clubhouse because they’d rather stare at huge-titted sex objects.

Yet somehow there’s still a vocal female fanbase for superheroes out there. Why would girls be into this stuff when there’s so many factors conspiring to push them away from it? I don’t know, I’m not a girl, don’t ask me. But let’s say it’s because there’s still hope in there. There are good female-centric superhero books out there (even if they’re usually written by men). There are female characters that resist demeaning sexualization, that don’t get killed off for cheap emotional impact, that aren’t just adjuncts to the men in their stories. It could be better. But it’s a start.

The superhero world is an inherently utopian one. Superheroes can save the world against all odds, can destroy evil, can conquer death itself. Maybe the sexism inherent in superhero comics is just a reflection of sexism in the real world. But superheroes have the power to make a better world. All you have to do is fight for it.

That means men learning how to write and draw better female characters. It means making more books that express diverse viewpoints, and less sidelining new versions of characters to return to the status quo of old white guys. It means standing up at conventions and holding the creators accountable for all these things, and calling the community out on its bullshit. And it means not shouting people down when they try to make their voices be heard.

To paraphrase Batgirl: right here, right now, this moment is yours.

PROPHET #21

The internet said this was going to be good and indeed it was! You know what this reminds me of actually is a hyperviolent Rice Boy, what with them both beind about an outsider journeying across a weird land to resurrect God. Between this and Spaceman it might be a good time for science fiction comics. Break the superhero’s hold on the direct market! Fight the power! But I suppose a lot of the enduring power of superheroes is that you can take any kind of genre and wrap a superhero costume around it. I mean, Green Lantern is basically 100% sci-fi-action-adventure. Maybe we can see some more quiet and socially oriented science fiction comics, like the New Wave authors of old? No, there is no room for that in comics. It must have explosions! And alien sex!

UNCANNY X-FORCE #20

I actually consider it a sign of a good series when I pick it up in the middle and have no idea what the hell is going on. That means it’s taking advantage of the unrestrained insanity of superhero mythology. The incomprehensible arcana. Something like that. There is Nightcrawler in this now but he isn’t the regular Nightcrawler, instead he is a jerk? I enjoy that. What I do not enjoy as much are those thick, chunky lines which render things visually incomprehensible too.

DEADPOOL MAX II #4

A little short on the ebullient depravity this month, no? I’m not sure I even cracked a grin.

DAREDEVIL #8

IS DAREDEVIL EXCELLENT THIS WEEK: Yes.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #678

IS ASM ACCEPTABLE THIS WEEK: Yes, because I am a sucker for time travel.

BATMAN #5

This is some neat stuff, and I think maybe the first time that Greg Capullo has really managed to impress me with the art. Scratchy, ragged desperation in spades, plus some lovely sequences of Batman wandering in the dark labyrinth, and it’s hard to have a guy just wandering doing nothing and make it visually interesting. There’s a nice compression of time and space in those pages.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SEASON 9 #5

This seems like a good place to give up on reading Buffy, because the writers are damn determined to make it as boring and un-character-driven as possible, with THE DUMBEST PLOT TWISTS. Season 8 did some fun stuff that took advantage of the unlimited special effects budget of comics, but it really dragged too, plus Joss Whedon’s lesbian fetish became painfully apparent. When have guys ever made out on a Whedon show? Never, because there’s only one gay man in Buffy and he’s only there for comic relief. But girls? MAKING OUT ALL THE TIME. So call me when Xander sleeps with a dude.

WONDER WOMAN #5

Could probably use more action and less exposition right now, because this version of Wonder Woman is kind of boring unless she is kicking some mythological ass. Centaur butts. That is a promisingly creepy design for who I assume to be Hades, though.

Poison Ivy is beyond human society. The world of men is corrupt and hypocritical, and Ivy is liberated from that. She wouldn’t hide her natural body under man-made clothes. Plus clothes are generally made out of exploited plants. Ivy wearing a cotton shirt would be like a vegan wearing leather. If she does wear clothes at all, they would be made out of living plants that willingly give themselves to protect their Earth-mother from the poisoned atmosphere of the urban world.

There’s another reason why Poison Ivy wouldn’t wear clothes. She is the very archetype of lethal female sexuality. She has a lethal kiss, powers that give her command over the minds of men, and an assortment of killer flowers. And you can’t get a much more obvious vagina-metaphor than flowers. Her oversized venus flytraps may as well be giant vaginas dentata. She is the villainous form of Mother Nature, a killer feminist who opposes the masculine rule of machines and imposed dominion over the natural order. Poisoned plants and evil women go back a long way in mythology, from Snow White’s wicked queen, to Eris and the golden apple, all the way back to Eve and the forbidden fruit.

This brings up an interesting interpretation of Batman. Bruce Wayne the innocent was expelled from his Edenic lifestyle when his parents were killed and he discovered knowledge of good and evil. It seems that any heterosexual couple in the Batman mythos is doomed to be broken up by death and replaced with membership in the largely homosocial Batman clan. When women do come into this world, is is largely as an imposition, whether it’s the unwanted help of Batgirl and Batwoman, or the numerous evil girlfriends that Batman’s had over the years.

Poison Ivy is thus the ultimate representation of that unwanted feminine. She can take heterosexuality and turn it into a weapon. The romantic partners she chooses for herself tend to be women. Thus she is everything that men are supposed to fear in female sexuality, gaining power by taking advantage of men’s lusts yet only truly satisfied by her own sex. By that interpretation, she would never wear clothes, proudly bearing her own sexuality. She is the phobic inversion of the male gaze - though she seems to promise sexual satisfaction, her bloom is lethal.

FRANKENSTEIN, AGENT OF S.H.A.D.E. #5

Well telling the same story twice from slightly different perspectives is one way to save time while scripting a crossover, I guess. Mark me up as disappointed because I was definitely expecting more insane burly-monster-on-burly-monster action.

STORMWATCH #5

This incarnation of Stormwatch is a little lacking in the transgressive quality that made the original Stormwatch fun, but it’s still a good read. Apollo and Midnighter are just so cute together. They even finish each other’s sentences! Admittedly that’s because Midnighter is such an advanced human being he can calculate peoples’ behavior, but still, I look forward to them again becoming comics’ cutest/most hyperviolent couple.

DEMON KNIGHTS #5

Every time I read this series I realize man, is it good! Definitely at the top of the fun scale. Cornell is sort of the best writer of fast-paced high camp team superhero books, which is an oddly specific niche but a niche I enjoy. Also it took me until THIS ISSUE to realize that Horsewoman is kind of a medieval Oracle, which everybody else apparently knew before the series even came out.

BATWOMAN #5

Batwoman’s always been a book where the art far outshines the writing. Not that the writing’s bad, it’s just, the art is completely transcendent and the story here is a little on the cliche side. Needs more of Kate Kane being a damaged person who isn’t good at human relationships, and less of angsty ghosts.

LOBSTER JOHNSON: THE BURNING HAND #1

Somehow there’s two pulp/noir pastiche comics out this week. This one’s by far the best, dig that snappy dialogue and sassy gal reporter. I always did like Lobster Johnson though.

JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #633

Okay, Journey Into Mystery is only the SECOND best Marvel book (for first see Daredevil), but it’s still excellent and continues to be so. Also it’s rather narration-heavy which seems unusual for a comic book these days but is something I wouldn’t mind seeing more of when it’s done well, after all, comics are both words and pictures and you can tilt the balance either way. This book features the old superhero trope of two characters meeting and fighting each other due to Misunderstandings which might actually be obligatory to the genre. I’m sure it makes superhero parties rather awkward at times.

THE SHADE #4

Darwyn Cooke is of course the number one choice when it comes to retro stylings and he does a damn fine job here, but this issue never really pushes itself very much and just kind of reminded me of The Rocketeer only less pulpy. Rumor has it this series might not get to finish all 12 issues and that would be sad.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #677

Continuing Dan Slott’s streak of writing stories that land solidly between “acceptable” and “pretty fun.” I do really enjoy the chemistry between Black Cat and Spider-Man, and it’s nice to see a superhero relationship that is neither a serious drama-filled long-term relationship nor trashy and sleazy, just nice, fun casual sex. Plus Daredevil is also here now. I’d love to see a book with all the witty acrobatic characters in one place, maybe those three plus Nightcrawler and Longshot, ideally with Marcos Martin to draw it.

SECRET AVENGERS #21

This is kind of BPRD in the Marvel U, isn’t it? Except all the characters are really generic? Like the inimitable David Brothers points out Captain America isn’t really being very Captain America, but then, none of the characters are really anybody, they’re just disposable action figures. Probably Rick Remender will fix that when he comes on.

ACTION COMICS #5

Maybe Action Comics hasn’t been the classic I was hoping for, but it’s still quite good with an exuberant sense of energy. And with what appears to be a full spectrum of Kryptonite-powered villains from the future it seems it’s going to be going full-on Silver Age at some point. I’m 100% OK with that.

FATALE

Criminal with tentacles! When I first saw the previews I was afraid it was just going to be a mashup of noir and Lovecraft stereotypes, featuring your typical evil seductress. That’s an archetype I find a bit problematic for feminist reasons, but since it turns out it’s actually A) from her point of view and B) she’s not particularly evil or in command, I feel much, much better about this comic. It almost seems like Brubaker’s going to be deconstructing the occult noir archetype from the inside, which should be really interesting.

THE PUNISHER #7

For a comic that’s supposed to bring Frank Castle back into the mainstream Marvel universe there’s been remarkably little superhero action so far this series. Not that’s a bad thing, it kind of makes this book feel like the spiritual successor to Gotham Central, where it’s about normal people doing relatively mundane things in a weird universe. The characters aren’t as deep as I’d like, but that might read better if I read all the issues together. As it is now, I kind of tend to forget who people are from issue to issue…

SWAMP THING #5

My problem with Swamp Thing has been that it just feels like a retread of Moore’s run. I mean, even Moore got bored with that towards the end and decided to just launch Swamp Thing into space. Plus Animal Man is doing basically the same story, but creepier and with better characters. Paquette’s art is top-notch though, so that’s as good a reason as any to keep going.

THE DEFENDERS #2

I got promised the universe cracking open and that hasn’t quiiiiite happened yet so I’ll reserve judgment on this book until it does, it seems like it’s still ramping up. Also how long has Prester John been a time-travelling villain in the Marvel U and nobody told me? Shut the engines down.

O.M.A.C. #5

I’m just going to leave this scan with the spine and staples visible because that’s how you know you’re reading a Comic Book and this book very much deserves the capitals. Did you know O.M.A.C. is accidentally the most fun book of the New 52? I’m sure that’s 90% Keith Giffen’s art, but oh such art he draws. Obviously he’s channeling Kirby, but he’s less blocky and more fluid. Sidebar: how come nobody can write Frankenstein dialogue as good as Morrison? Frankenstein should be eloquent in a ponderous and Edwardian way, dammit, not saying things like “I hate it when they get chatty!”

UNCANNY X-FORCE #19.1

I’m jumping onto X-Force a little late in the game here so admittedly I should be prepared to play catchup, but is it really the best idea to have a comic theoretically designed as a starting point for new readers to feature none of the title characters? But I do have a slightly unwarranted love of the Age of Apocalypse (or any dark alternate timeline), and I’m looking forward to Lapham’s series, so I’ll try next issue and see if that works better.

ANIMAL MAN #5

Like I said above, all the creepy that should’ve gone into Swamp Thing is in here. This is the best comic DC’s making right now by a healthy margin, unless you aren’t into incredibly gross body horror. But sometimes there are cute skeleton animals to balance things out.